I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize