Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
