Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
