Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
how drunk are you?
Several
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
