he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
