if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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