just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
