i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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