Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
