you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
