dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I just found a bag of teeth...
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
