You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
