I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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