You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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