But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
