Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
