So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
