i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
