i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
