life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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