Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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