Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
