tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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