Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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