My vagina just recognized that song.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
