Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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