I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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