is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
