I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Randomize
