Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
