i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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