When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
