What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
