I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
