I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
