She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
