was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
