can we get nightvision for the apartment?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
This beer is not sobering me up at all
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
How does one acquire holy water?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
