K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
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