her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
