Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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