Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
