I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
