I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
