the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
