so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I don't deserve a penis
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize