The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
