I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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