opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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