The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
