By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
