i wish there were pregnant emoticons
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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