nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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