You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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