Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
