A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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