He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
