She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
