Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
