If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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