I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
how do flat chested girls get laid?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
