Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
