No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
