you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
