I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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