If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize